Making the decision to have a baby is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone
From the moment you see those two little pink lines show up on the pregnancy test, you can feel your whole world changing. I know I did! Let’s just say moments later, my face was in a brown paper bag and cold water was being thrown on my face lol I was absolutely ecstatic and completely terrified at the same time. Apart of me was infatuated with the thought of starting a family and entering a new stage in life yet, my left brain had me thinking “WOW, you’re career is taking off and now, a baby?” “How will people look at you?” “Who am I, Cardi B?” I felt like I wanted to put up this invisible shield around me and hibernate. I saw my thoughts taking over, so I decided to take a mini hiatus to clear my mind on my next move.
First things first: We have to tell our parents right? Whew! I was nervous, armpits sweating and all but surprisingly, both sides of our families were downright excited and very very comforting. From the love and support from our family and friends, I started to feel like I could conquer this pregnancy and the world! I know you can never fully prepare for kids but honestly, I’ve never even known what age was “acceptable” to start having them. Kids were an absolute NO NO in my book. With the busy lifestyle me and Jamaal carried, for ME it just wasn’t in the plans. Marriage & Money was the only thing I saw in my future but I guess God saw otherwise.
My pregnancy has literally taken ALL of my energy and sucked me dry, LITERALLY! *cues in the Lamer moisturizing creme* Majority of my pregnancy, I have been an emotional wreck, extremely restless and at most times, I’ve felt completely creatively unmotivated. One of my symptoms are constant headaches and boyyyyy are they awful! My skin and body are going through so many hormonal changes and it has become so discouraging. During my first trimester, I was so concerned with the void in my social life, the possibility of losing friends, losing myself, gaining weight, being judged and one day I had to finally pick myself up and realize people will only treat you how you treat yourself. Who says because I’m becoming a mother, my life is over? Because it's NOT and I refuse to present myself as such. Moving forward from today, I vow to continue to kick ass in entrepreneurship and finally embrace my pregnancy!
I am now in my second trimester and it definitely took me sometime to gain this confidence and every now and then, I still have my bad days. I’m sure I’m not the only woman to feel this way during my pregnancy so I would like to pass on the 8 things I wish I knew at the start of my pregnancy for anyone who is in the same position.
1. EVERYONE will offer their opinion & comments -- and you DON’T have to take it! As soon as that bump starts to show or as soon as you announce your pregnancy, it's like a switch flicks and everyone starts dishing out advice left, right and center. *Including me, right now haha but you don't have to take it. This is YOUR baby and YOUR life and if these comments are not helping you monetarily then it's okay to tell others to mind their business :) As long as what you're doing is safe, you've discussed it with your doctor and you and your guy are happy, then that's all that matters.
2. Not all pregnancies are the same -- Just because your friend Sarah gained 60 pounds in her pregnancy, doesn't mean you will too. And just because Alicia was able to run a 5k during her pregnancy, doesn't mean you’ll be able to either. No two pregnancies are the same, so don't feel like you have to keep up with or compare yourself to anyone else. While it's nice to hear these maternity stories from your friends, and some can can most certainly make you feel better while others can do the opposite.
3. Take care of yourself as much as possible. Take long showers, go get a mani, do anything that you enjoy that is just about you. Everything will be about the baby once they're here!
4. Take these next 40 weeks to bond with your partner. Schedule dates, activities, keep communication extremely open, binge watch shows, eat good food together and still have sex if you’re comfortable -- besides, the doctor recommends it. It is very easy to feel disconnected from your partner during pregnancy.
5. Take time to enjoy your pregnancy. There is a magical thing happening. You're creating life. Put on some make up and go sport that baby bump and be proud!
6. Having support is very pertinent during such a special, yet uncertain time in your life. You need a positive and uplifting energy around you at all times. Your mood can carry on to your baby during this time and it is crucial you try to give your little one nothing but the best.
7. Its okay to cry! Its okay to have bad days as long as you pick yourself up. Trust that you are stronger now than you ever imagined possible! There will be times when you want to give up & just pass the pregnancy on to your partner for a day to give you a break. There will be times when you want to give up but there will also be moments of so much love you’ll feel like your heart is going to literally leap out of your chest and moments when you're not sure how you can physically, mentally or emotionally function. BUT YOU WILL. & You will be amazing! Your understanding of yourself and your life is about to change in the most amazing way possible and to watch your growth will blow your mind!
8. Last but not least, you are NOT alone! There are going to be times when you feel so incredibly alone, even when there are people around you. There will be friends who don't understand what your going through, there will be some pregnancy insomnia nights that suck and when all those thoughts of “what if” runs through your mind, believe that you are not alone. Your first pregnancy can be overwhelming, mines still is but there's so much new information and skill to take in but mama, take a deep breath… you’ve got this & I got you with my upcoming installation HAUS OF Momosa : an event for new, expectant and experienced moms. Stay Tuned!